Marriage
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:18-19
Personalized Scriptures
1 John 4:19
I can love my spouse because He first loved me.
Matthew 9:16
I am united as one flesh and what God has joined together, no one can separate.
Ephesians 5:1-2
I am an imitator of God and walk in love, valuing one another and seeking the best for each other.
Hope For A Difficult Marriage
"Those who marry will have troubles." That’s what Paul told the Corinthian church (1 Corinthians 7:28). Marriage is a beautiful covenant, but it isn’t always easy. Even the strongest couples will face challenges.
But what happens when those challenges feel unbearable? What if your marriage isn’t just struggling—but deeply painful? Is there hope?
The short answer: Yes.
If you're walking through a difficult or even abusive marriage, let’s walk together through these steps as you prayerfully seek God’s wisdom.
DISCERNING STRUGGLES FROM CRISES
Every marriage faces struggles. Disagreements. Frustrations. Misunderstandings. But not every struggle is a reason to walk away.
Sadly, many divorces today happen over issues that could have been overcome: unmet expectations, ongoing arguments, or seasons of unhappiness. Research shows that couples who push through hard times often find themselves in a much better place just a few years later.
But some problems aren’t just struggles; they’re crises. And when marriage crosses the line into abuse, affairs, or addiction—things change. These are deep wounds that require deep healing.
HOPE EVEN IN DEEP WOUNDS
God’s heart grieves over broken vows, yet He is in the business of redemption.
If you’ve been betrayed, abused, or abandoned, know this: God sees you. He weeps with you. And He has a plan for you.
While God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), He permits it in cases of unfaithfulness (Matthew 19:1-8). Some marriages break in ways that can’t be easily repaired. But that doesn’t mean your story is over.
Even in what feels like a hopeless situation, healing is possible. Some couples have walked through unimaginable pain—infidelity, addiction, abuse—and, by God’s grace, have come out on the other side stronger than ever. Others have found freedom and healing outside of marriage when reconciliation was not possible.
WHEN SAFETY MUST COME FIRST
If you are in an abusive marriage, let this be clear: God does not want you to endure harm.
If your home is not a safe place, you do not need to stay in harm’s way. Protecting yourself and your children is not a lack of faith—it is wisdom.
Abuse is not just a "marriage struggle." It is a violation of the marriage covenant. And while God can redeem anything, He does not call you to stay in a place where you are being physically or emotionally destroyed. Seek safety. Seek help. And trust that God will guide your steps.
SEEK HELP—DON’T WALK ALONE
No matter where you are in this journey, you do not have to walk it alone.
God is with you. He hears every prayer, sees every tear, and walks with you through every decision.
You also need the church. Wise counsel. Godly friends. Pastors and mentors who can help you navigate what comes next.
You are not forgotten. You are not without hope. Whether God restores your marriage or leads you in a different direction, He is writing a story of redemption in your life.
Lean into Him. Seek His wisdom. And trust that He is not finished with you yet.
But what happens when those challenges feel unbearable? What if your marriage isn’t just struggling—but deeply painful? Is there hope?
The short answer: Yes.
If you're walking through a difficult or even abusive marriage, let’s walk together through these steps as you prayerfully seek God’s wisdom.
DISCERNING STRUGGLES FROM CRISES
Every marriage faces struggles. Disagreements. Frustrations. Misunderstandings. But not every struggle is a reason to walk away.
Sadly, many divorces today happen over issues that could have been overcome: unmet expectations, ongoing arguments, or seasons of unhappiness. Research shows that couples who push through hard times often find themselves in a much better place just a few years later.
But some problems aren’t just struggles; they’re crises. And when marriage crosses the line into abuse, affairs, or addiction—things change. These are deep wounds that require deep healing.
HOPE EVEN IN DEEP WOUNDS
God’s heart grieves over broken vows, yet He is in the business of redemption.
If you’ve been betrayed, abused, or abandoned, know this: God sees you. He weeps with you. And He has a plan for you.
While God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), He permits it in cases of unfaithfulness (Matthew 19:1-8). Some marriages break in ways that can’t be easily repaired. But that doesn’t mean your story is over.
Even in what feels like a hopeless situation, healing is possible. Some couples have walked through unimaginable pain—infidelity, addiction, abuse—and, by God’s grace, have come out on the other side stronger than ever. Others have found freedom and healing outside of marriage when reconciliation was not possible.
WHEN SAFETY MUST COME FIRST
If you are in an abusive marriage, let this be clear: God does not want you to endure harm.
If your home is not a safe place, you do not need to stay in harm’s way. Protecting yourself and your children is not a lack of faith—it is wisdom.
Abuse is not just a "marriage struggle." It is a violation of the marriage covenant. And while God can redeem anything, He does not call you to stay in a place where you are being physically or emotionally destroyed. Seek safety. Seek help. And trust that God will guide your steps.
SEEK HELP—DON’T WALK ALONE
No matter where you are in this journey, you do not have to walk it alone.
God is with you. He hears every prayer, sees every tear, and walks with you through every decision.
You also need the church. Wise counsel. Godly friends. Pastors and mentors who can help you navigate what comes next.
You are not forgotten. You are not without hope. Whether God restores your marriage or leads you in a different direction, He is writing a story of redemption in your life.
Lean into Him. Seek His wisdom. And trust that He is not finished with you yet.
Rebuilding Trust In a Relationship
Let’s be real: trust is the foundation of any strong, healthy relationship. It’s not just a “nice-to-have”—it’s the glue that holds everything else together. You can have a shared sense of humor, similar goals, even years of memories together… but if there’s no trust, the relationship will crack under pressure. And if you've ever had your trust broken—or been the one who broke it—you know how fragile and painful it can be.
TRUST IS BUILT SLOWLY… AND BROKEN QUICKLY
Trust doesn’t happen overnight. It’s something we build little by little—through honest conversations, consistent actions, and doing life together. But it can be lost in an instant.
A lie. A betrayal. A pattern of selfishness. Suddenly, what took years to build can feel like it’s crumbling in front of your eyes. But here’s the good news: with God, broken things can be rebuilt. Trust can be restored. It won’t be easy. It won’t be quick. But it is possible.
HOW DO YOU REBUILD TRUST?
There are three ingredients that are absolutely essential to the rebuilding process: Repentance. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Let’s break these down.
1. REPENTANCE
Repentance isn’t just saying “I’m sorry.” It’s turning around. It’s saying, “I was wrong,” and choosing to live differently from this point forward.
It’s about taking responsibility—no excuses, no blaming, no minimizing. If you broke the trust, it starts here: own it. True repentance says, “That’s not who I want to be anymore. I’m choosing a different path.”
2. FORGIVENESS
This is where it gets hard—because forgiveness is costly. If you’ve been hurt, betrayed, or let down, forgiveness might feel impossible. But forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t hurt. It means choosing to release the offense—refusing to carry bitterness or demand revenge. Why? Because healing starts here. Forgiveness sets you free. And it opens the door for God to do something new.
3. RECONCILIATION
This is the beautiful part. Reconciliation is when both people—offender and offended—commit to move forward together. It means having real conversations. It means being honest about your pain and your progress. It means agreeing, “We’re not going back—we’re building something new.” Reconciliation is a reset. Not to where you were… But to where God is leading you now.
TRUST IS BUILT SLOWLY… AND BROKEN QUICKLY
Trust doesn’t happen overnight. It’s something we build little by little—through honest conversations, consistent actions, and doing life together. But it can be lost in an instant.
A lie. A betrayal. A pattern of selfishness. Suddenly, what took years to build can feel like it’s crumbling in front of your eyes. But here’s the good news: with God, broken things can be rebuilt. Trust can be restored. It won’t be easy. It won’t be quick. But it is possible.
HOW DO YOU REBUILD TRUST?
There are three ingredients that are absolutely essential to the rebuilding process: Repentance. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Let’s break these down.
1. REPENTANCE
Repentance isn’t just saying “I’m sorry.” It’s turning around. It’s saying, “I was wrong,” and choosing to live differently from this point forward.
It’s about taking responsibility—no excuses, no blaming, no minimizing. If you broke the trust, it starts here: own it. True repentance says, “That’s not who I want to be anymore. I’m choosing a different path.”
2. FORGIVENESS
This is where it gets hard—because forgiveness is costly. If you’ve been hurt, betrayed, or let down, forgiveness might feel impossible. But forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t hurt. It means choosing to release the offense—refusing to carry bitterness or demand revenge. Why? Because healing starts here. Forgiveness sets you free. And it opens the door for God to do something new.
3. RECONCILIATION
This is the beautiful part. Reconciliation is when both people—offender and offended—commit to move forward together. It means having real conversations. It means being honest about your pain and your progress. It means agreeing, “We’re not going back—we’re building something new.” Reconciliation is a reset. Not to where you were… But to where God is leading you now.
Love Languages in Real Life: How to Keep the Connection Alive Without Going Broke or Crazy
You don’t have to be a poet.
You don’t have to book a beach vacation every three months.
You don’t even have to nail the perfect anniversary gift (though bonus points if you do).
Real love — the kind that lasts — is built in the small stuff. The everyday moments.
The “after-work, still-in-sweaty-clothes, talking while folding laundry” kind of stuff.
The truth is:
Most couples don’t drift apart because of a single big thing.
They drift apart because they stopped doing the small things.
And that’s where something like “love languages” comes in — but not in the cheesy way.
I’m talking about love languages made for real life.
Let’s break it down.
What Are Love Languages? (The Walt & Wilma Edition)
You’ve probably heard about them before. Here’s the quick, no-fluff version:
Words of Affirmation: They need to hear that you love and appreciate them.
Acts of Service: They feel loved when you do something that helps them.
Receiving Gifts: It’s not about expensive stuff — it’s about the thought behind it.
Quality Time: They want your attention — not just your presence.
Physical Touch: A hug, a hand on the shoulder, a playful nudge — simple touch matters.
And spoiler alert:
Some days it might feel like your spouse needs all five.
(That’s normal. Don’t panic.)
Practical Tips to Speak Their Love Language — Without Overthinking It
This isn’t about adding 20 things to your already-packed to-do list.
It’s about making small, intentional moves that say, “I still choose you.”
Here’s how:
1. Words of Affirmation
Make It Easy:
• Send them a quick text saying one thing you admire about them.
• Leave a sticky note somewhere random (like on the coffee machine or car dashboard).
• Brag on them when you’re talking to someone else.
“My wife’s a rockstar — seriously, she handles more in a day than I could in a week.”
2. Acts of Service
Make It Simple:
• Knock out a chore they usually do — no announcement, no parade.
• Fill up their gas tank without being asked.
• Bring them coffee just the way they like it.
“I did the dishes and lived to tell the tale.”
3. Receiving Gifts
Make It Thoughtful:
• Grab their favorite candy, coffee, or snack next time you’re out.
• Keep a $5 “surprise” budget each month — it’s not the size, it’s the thought.
• Hide a handwritten note somewhere they’ll find it later.
“This candy bar made me think of you. (Sweet and a little nutty.)”
4. Quality Time
Make It Focused:
• Put your phone face-down and give them 10 minutes of undivided attention.
• Watch their favorite show — even if it’s not your thing.
• Go for a short walk after dinner — no agenda, just time.
“Tonight, it’s just you and me — no screens, no distractions.”
5. Physical Touch
Make It Natural:
• Hug them when they walk through the door.
• Hold their hand while you’re watching TV.
• Sit closer than usual on the couch — just because.
“If the kids say ‘Ewww’ — you’re doing it right.”
The 5-Day Challenge: Small Steps, Big Impact
Here’s your challenge:
For the next 5 days, pick one of these love language tips each day — and just do it.
Watch what happens.
You don’t have to win Valentine’s Day. You just have to win Tuesday.
You don’t have to give a TED Talk about your feelings. You just have to show up.
One small step a day keeps the distance away.
Final Thought: Love is Built in the Daily Things
Big gestures are great — but they’re not what keeps a marriage strong.
The strength of your relationship will be built on the thousand tiny, almost forgettable moments that add up to a lifetime of saying:
“I see you.”
“I choose you.”
“I’m still with you.”
That’s the good stuff.
That’s the kind of love that lasts!
You don’t have to book a beach vacation every three months.
You don’t even have to nail the perfect anniversary gift (though bonus points if you do).
Real love — the kind that lasts — is built in the small stuff. The everyday moments.
The “after-work, still-in-sweaty-clothes, talking while folding laundry” kind of stuff.
The truth is:
Most couples don’t drift apart because of a single big thing.
They drift apart because they stopped doing the small things.
And that’s where something like “love languages” comes in — but not in the cheesy way.
I’m talking about love languages made for real life.
Let’s break it down.
What Are Love Languages? (The Walt & Wilma Edition)
You’ve probably heard about them before. Here’s the quick, no-fluff version:
Words of Affirmation: They need to hear that you love and appreciate them.
Acts of Service: They feel loved when you do something that helps them.
Receiving Gifts: It’s not about expensive stuff — it’s about the thought behind it.
Quality Time: They want your attention — not just your presence.
Physical Touch: A hug, a hand on the shoulder, a playful nudge — simple touch matters.
And spoiler alert:
Some days it might feel like your spouse needs all five.
(That’s normal. Don’t panic.)
Practical Tips to Speak Their Love Language — Without Overthinking It
This isn’t about adding 20 things to your already-packed to-do list.
It’s about making small, intentional moves that say, “I still choose you.”
Here’s how:
1. Words of Affirmation
Make It Easy:
• Send them a quick text saying one thing you admire about them.
• Leave a sticky note somewhere random (like on the coffee machine or car dashboard).
• Brag on them when you’re talking to someone else.
“My wife’s a rockstar — seriously, she handles more in a day than I could in a week.”
2. Acts of Service
Make It Simple:
• Knock out a chore they usually do — no announcement, no parade.
• Fill up their gas tank without being asked.
• Bring them coffee just the way they like it.
“I did the dishes and lived to tell the tale.”
3. Receiving Gifts
Make It Thoughtful:
• Grab their favorite candy, coffee, or snack next time you’re out.
• Keep a $5 “surprise” budget each month — it’s not the size, it’s the thought.
• Hide a handwritten note somewhere they’ll find it later.
“This candy bar made me think of you. (Sweet and a little nutty.)”
4. Quality Time
Make It Focused:
• Put your phone face-down and give them 10 minutes of undivided attention.
• Watch their favorite show — even if it’s not your thing.
• Go for a short walk after dinner — no agenda, just time.
“Tonight, it’s just you and me — no screens, no distractions.”
5. Physical Touch
Make It Natural:
• Hug them when they walk through the door.
• Hold their hand while you’re watching TV.
• Sit closer than usual on the couch — just because.
“If the kids say ‘Ewww’ — you’re doing it right.”
The 5-Day Challenge: Small Steps, Big Impact
Here’s your challenge:
For the next 5 days, pick one of these love language tips each day — and just do it.
Watch what happens.
You don’t have to win Valentine’s Day. You just have to win Tuesday.
You don’t have to give a TED Talk about your feelings. You just have to show up.
One small step a day keeps the distance away.
Final Thought: Love is Built in the Daily Things
Big gestures are great — but they’re not what keeps a marriage strong.
The strength of your relationship will be built on the thousand tiny, almost forgettable moments that add up to a lifetime of saying:
“I see you.”
“I choose you.”
“I’m still with you.”
That’s the good stuff.
That’s the kind of love that lasts!